Exploring Kink: How to Safely Dive into Your Fantasies

GUEST BLOG. Exploring kinks and fantasies in a safe environment can be difficult if you’re not surrounded by a supportive and understanding community, or you don’t possess the knowledge and experience to handle such situations. The tips given above are some of the more easier ways to start building a place for yourself to safely explore your interests. Remember, sexuality is fluid and everyone’s interests and turn-ons are unique. Being open and non-judgmental about your fantasies can help you understand the meaning behind them and lead to a cathartic experience for your body and mind.

Sex Therapy, SexologyDenise RenyeNovember 19, 2024BDSM, sexuality, kinky sex, kink, sex dolls

How Deepfakes Affect Relationships

Consent is the crucial element in this discussion. None of these women and girls (because deepfake pornography is also being created about young girls) said “yes” to having their faces splashed across the internet engaging in sexual acts. In an era where privacy is increasingly compromised, the ability to obtain someone's image or voice without their knowledge and then manipulate it for malicious purposes poses a serious threat. These women, because it’s almost exclusively women, are victimized by the unauthorized use of their likeness, leading to emotional distress and strain on their relationships.

How EMDR Can Promote Sexual Healing

Sexuality and relationship issues often stem from past experiences that have left emotional scars or negative beliefs about one’s self and others. EMDR facilitates the reprocessing of these memories, helping individuals to integrate positive and adaptive information, and desensitize the emotional charge associated with past traumas. In the realm of sexuality, EMDR can assist individuals in overcoming inhibitions, shame, or negative self-perceptions that may hinder their healthy sexual expression.

Regular Therapists Don’t Get Enough Training on Human Sexuality

I am more than happy to consult, of course, but this gap in training on human sexuality can have far-reaching consequences for individuals and couples. They may not receive the specialized support they need to navigate sexual and relational challenges and enhance their sexual health. Addressing sexual concerns requires a nuanced understanding of cultural, psychological, and physiological factors, which a general therapist may not be equipped to handle from the training they received. Consequently, this omission in training is a disservice to patients and hinders their access to the holistic care necessary for a fulfilling and healthy life.

Nurturing Intimacy: A Guide for Parents of Young Children

Parenting is a rewarding yet demanding journey that often places significant demands on the time and energy of caregivers. Amidst the hustle and bustle of daily responsibilities, maintaining intimacy in a relationship can become a challenge.

Denise RenyeFebruary 5, 2024parenting, intimacy, Sex, sexuality, couples, couples therapy

The Paradox of Over-Familiarity: How It Can Decrease Sexual Attraction

While over-familiarity can indeed decrease sexual attraction, it is not an inevitable outcome of a long-term relationship. Couples can take steps to maintain and even reignite their sexual attraction.

Delving into Demisexuality

For demisexual individuals, navigating the complexities of dating and relationships can be both rewarding and challenging. The emphasis on emotional connection often means that they invest significant time and energy into getting to know someone on a deep level before any sort of sexual attraction can manifest. This can lead to more profound and meaningful relationships as the foundation is built upon a strong emotional bond. However, it might also result in feelings of disconnect or isolation in a society that frequently prioritizes instant physical or sexual connections.

Sexuality without Integrity is Dangerous

It’s vital that we each take radical responsibility for our own selves, use language properly, and have integrity around our sexuality because otherwise, someone’s life could be at stake, sometimes literally.

Celebrating Big Vulva Energy

Have you ever noticed all the phallic symbols in the world, the monuments, the figurines, the everything that pay homage to the penis, and wondered where the corresponding vulva tributes were? I know you have. And if you haven’t, perhaps you now will. Like most things pertaining to the divine feminine, they were hidden away. And while that can feel unfair and just plain wrong, it also makes a sort of senf because the physicality of the vulva and vagina themselves are hidden inside of tissue folds. The vulva has been a mystery, a sacred mystery, since this is where life is birthed through. But the ancient “Sheela Na Gig” brings this mystery out in a very bold way.

Female Orgasms and Unrealistic Expectations

For folx who have sex with people with clitorises, it’s important that they realize vaginal penetration alone may not cut it, and as with all satisfying sex, communication is key. At Whole Person Integration, we say bring consciousness back to the bedroom. Communicate wants and desires. But also explore…and explore widely, vastly, and wildly…if you so desire. You may have “tried and true” methods of coming but part of the fun with sex is learning new forms of pleasure. What else can you try? The answer may surprise you.

Asexuality is Aces

In the hypersexualized culture of the U.S., asexuality is not discussed much but it still exists. Around 1% of the population, perhaps more, are asexual (or “aces”) according to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. Asexuality is not celibacy. Celibacy is a choice to abstain from sexual activity whereas asexuality is a sexual orientation intrinsic to the person, similar to other sexual orientations. Asexuality is also not abstinence, a phase, an inability to find a partner, or evidence of sexual dysfunction. It’s an inherent way of being.

How do Sexual Freedom and the Inner Child Relate to Each Other?

By looking within and doing inner child exploration, you may become curious about sexuality, sexual needs, and what is pleasurable for you, which are all important and essential to a healthy and thriving sexual self. Why does this happen? As I mentioned in my previous post, creativity and sexuality are two sides of the same coin.

How Inner Child Exploration Leads to More Creativity

Your creative, and thus sexual, energy is life-sustaining. It’s an expression that is unleashed and followed. Your creative expression is an energy that can be surrendered to and followed. It is the flow of life. The flow of life can be blocked for numerous reasons – primarily trauma, but also social conditioning. Inner child play can unblock that flow and transform your whole person.

SexualityDenise RenyeOctober 27, 2022inner child, inner child work, inner child play, creativity, sexuality, sexologist, sexology

Embracing Your Sexuality is Multifaceted

Frankly, sexy is very much in the eye of the beholder and not preordained, but I digress. For people who hold this belief that they aren’t sexy, there’s often fear and terror around their own sexuality – both exploring it and deepening it. However, that’s exactly what’s required to shift the paradigm of the patriarchy.

Straightwashing Real-Life Relationships

That’s a problem for numerous reasons but what’s interesting to me is that straightwashing is not relegated to Hollywood. When someone gets into a man-woman relationship, people default to calling it a heterosexual one or believing both parties are heterosexual. It may look that way on the outside, but is it? What if one or both people are bisexual, pansexual, or identify in a way other than hetero? What if one or both people are trans?

Physical Intimacy is More than Sex

The pleasure-oriented approach emphasizes all parts of the sexual encounter, including what has traditionally been called "foreplay," a word I take issue with. Historically, foreplay has been a heterosexual relationship concern. Often, men assume they have to do this/these act(s) known as foreplay (digital stim, oral stim, etc.) in order to really get to “it” (intercourse).

Denise RenyeApril 29, 2022foreplay, sex, sexuality, human sexuality, sensuality, sensual touch, couples therapy

How Relationships Foster Spiritual Growth

From that lens, relationships not only support spiritual growth, the relationship itself is a spiritual practice. That’s true in the sense that relationships provide people with numerous opportunities to practice love, acceptance, understanding, and patience.

Denise RenyeDecember 15, 2021relationship, sexuality, Sex

Bringing Consciousness Back into the Bedroom

“What’s communication like?” Are both people in the couple talking about sex? What they like, what they don’t, how frequently they want to have it? Or is sex filled with assumptions and expectations? If it’s the latter, that’s the recipe for an unsatisfying sexual encounter. And yet not many of us have been taught the skills to learn how to have these integral conversations. Instead, melting into the taboo of cheating is the way many folx still proceed.

Using ‘Sexuality Mapping’ to Heal

I created a technique about 15 years ago called “Sexuality Mapping” as a way of working with a person’s sexuality and sexualness in order to potentially heal trauma by gaining a deeper understanding of their sexual past so that going forward they can make choices in alignment with who they really are.

Using Eye Gazing to Deepen Intimacy

Starting any practice slowly and with intention is important. Begin by setting your alarm for 1 minute and be sure to pay closer attention to detail: choose a pleasant sound for the ending notification, if you can. It can be jarring to your nervous system to hear a loud clanging after such an intimate practice.

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