Exploring Kink: How to Safely Dive into Your Fantasies
Guest Blog by: Rhona James
Kinks and fantasies are a part of a normal sexual experience. Everyone has certain things that turn them on, and these experiences should be explored in a non-judgemental and supportive environment to help every individual become their authentic self.
Understanding Your Fantasies From A Fresh Perspective
There’s a deep but often overlooked connection between kink play and healing. People who have been through any sort of trauma, especially if it’s sexual in nature, it can be extremely beneficial for them to process it through engaging in their fantasies and kinks. While some prefer to heal themselves through other methods like therapy, journaling, and engaging in physical and mental activities, many people find solace through sex therapy and exploring their kinks to help them understand their feelings better. This approach is a more profound method of viewing sex and fantasies as an insight into one’s life instead of just being a physical act.
5 Ways To Make Kink Exploring A Safe
If you’ve figured some of your kinks recently, or are still in the process of discovering your deepest fantasies, here are five ways you can do that and learn more about yourself in the process:
1. Make Consent A Part Of The Experience
One of the most important aspects of having an amazing fantasy-oriented experience that helps you explore your kinks is having enthusiastic consent of people who you’re engaging in a sexual manner with. That’s not to say you can’t do it alone. After all, a lot of fantasies can be fulfilled alone. But if you do have second or even third parties involved in the process of your kink exploration experience, it is worthwhile to take a moment and know how you and others feel about the whole experience. Consent can be given and taken away before, or even during the sexual act. Being respectful of others and your own choices can help you explore a wide range of fantasies and make the experience memorable for you.
2. Improve Your Communication Skills
Effective communication is an integral part of exploring your kinks in a safe manner. Being able to not only convey how you feel, but also listen empathetically to people who you’re engaging in any kind of sexual acts with can help you build a strong foundation to lean deeper into your spiritual personality. Using your communication skills to not only discuss your fantasies but also your boundaries and expectations from this experience can help you find people who can become a part of your community and help you progress towards participating in and creating an enriching experience. If you’re struggling to bring your thoughts forward or present them in a cohesive and constructive way, depth psychotherapy can help you get in touch with yourself.
3. Learn More About Your Fantasies
Education in any form can help you create the basis of your sexual experience and overall life. If you’re new to the exploration and experimentation of your fantasies, invest in learning about what makes you feel more fulfilled in and out of bed, and start exploring your kinks in that direction. For instance, if you’ve always found sex toys fascinating but have recently discovered that you might be interested in learning more about how to use sex dolls in your BDSM experience, it could be a thought worth exploring. Instead of dismissing your kinks and fantasies as something wrong, treat them as a path that helps you learn more about yourself. Your fantasies and kinks originate from an interplay of nature and nurture, making them powerful tools for understanding your body, mind and soul. So, try and be one with your interests and never be afraid to learn more about them. The more knowledge you gain, the more safe it will become for you to enjoy a wide range of fantasies.
4. Engage In Self-Reflection
Self-reflection can be a powerful tool to help you embrace your fantasies, get in touch with them deeply, and practice these kinks in a safe manner and environment. If you want to learn about what drives your interest and why it makes you feel the way it does, it can help you create a space for yourself to allow exploration and curiosity in your life. There are many methods of self-regulation and reflection that you can adopt. One of the most common and intimate ways to do so is by journaling about your experiences and making notes of things that you’ve found peculiar or enjoyable about your last sexual encounter. Some of the other methods may include but aren’t limited to engaging in emotional aftercare for yourself and your partners, as well as taking time for solo exploration to learn more about your sexual desires.
5. Don’t Forget To Have Fun
In the hustle and bustle of finding what’s right for you, it’s easy to put too much pressure on yourself and actually forget to enjoy the experience altogether. Even the stigma and taboo that surrounds topics related to sex and especially sexual fantasies can make you feel vulnerable about boldly pursuing your sexual interests. That’s why it’s important to find a community that provides you the freedom to explore your kinks in a safe environment, and once you find these people, have fun in the act. Instead of getting too caught up in the meaning and ways behind the method, stay in the moment and enjoy the acts. They’re a powerful way to let it all out and release any worries or shame that you’re holding onto.
Exploring kinks and fantasies in a safe environment can be difficult if you’re not surrounded by a supportive and understanding community, or you don’t possess the knowledge and experience to handle such situations. The tips given above are some of the more easier ways to start building a place for yourself to safely explore your interests. Remember, sexuality is fluid and everyone’s interests and turn-ons are unique. Being open and non-judgmental about your fantasies can help you understand the meaning behind them and lead to a cathartic experience for your body and mind.