When you hear “meditation,” what comes to mind? Do you imagine sitting cross-legged with your palms up, resting on your knees, fingers in a mudra? That’s certainly one kind of meditation but it’s not the only one. As we mentioned in our blog on how to cultivate a spiritual practice, sitting completely still is not recommended for those with trauma histories, panic, and anxiety because it may not feel safe enough for those folx to sit quietly with their eyes closed. Their nervous systems associate that with “danger” so it can be hard to meditate in that way.

The big difference with spirituality is it’s not based on hierarchy. There’s no barrier between you and a spiritual figure or force. Instead of a middle person or religious leader telling you what to think or do, there’s direct access. With spirituality, there may be certain rituals (lighting a candle, playing certain music, etc.) but there also may not be. It’s up to you what you do and what you don’t do.

We human beings are complex and often, unconsciously and creatively, employ various strategies to avoid pain: primarily addictions and bypassing. Spiritual bypassing is sidestepping or avoiding facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks but talking the talk of an individual who is more “spiritually evolved.”

You can communicate with your inner child(ren) as much as you’d like, and as with anything, as long as it doesn’t interfere with other areas of your life. Your active imagination can take you far. Where do you want to go?

Perfectionism is an attempt to hold onto the illusion of control. It’s a creation of the mind to give a sense of power to a situation or environment where helplessness may abound. When the environment is chaotic, the mind wants to create control from within. One way of doing that is to begin a practice of self-discipline and buy into the idea that perfection exists and that you can embody it in this world (you simply cannot). Inner child work can be healing for perfectionism.

Some folx grew up too soon and were forced to be adults before they were ready. This happens for a variety of reasons and one of those reasons is covert incest, also known as enmeshment. Enmeshment occurs when a parent or caregiver looks to their child for emotional support and psychological validation. In other words, there aren’t strong boundaries within the family. And those strong boundaries are necessary for the safety of the child. They are also necessary for the safety of the parent’s psyche but the child’s psyche is really negatively affected.

In other words, being a teenager may not have been the idyllic time you remember it being. If you find yourself wishing you could go back to high school, that could be a symptom of something else. Maybe you’re longing for certain qualities you’re not experiencing as an adult. Maybe you want more play and creativity. Or perhaps you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed by “adulting” and could use a playdate with your inner children. It could also be that you’re lonely and want more time with your friends.

What people often forget is it’s hard being a child; there are numerous milestones kids go through before they’re 5 years old. They learn gross motor skills like rolling over and crawling, which is a very big deal. They are going from being immobile, dependent on those around them to do everything, to learning and becoming more independent somatically.

By looking within and doing inner child exploration, you may become curious about sexuality, sexual needs, and what is pleasurable for you, which are all important and essential to a healthy and thriving sexual self. Why does this happen? As I mentioned in my previous post, creativity and sexuality are two sides of the same coin.

People in the process of healing their inner children may undergo this acceptance process as well. They may no longer fight life but accept it as it is. They may also start to trust the process and themselves, knowing it will lead to somewhere new, more integrated, and more whole.

In my practice, folx work hard and go far in their careers – be it in tech, business, or medicine – and they experience material gain. They find their way to me because of that sense that something’s missing.