Men regularly receive immense amounts of praise for basic acts of parenting – changing a diaper, bringing their kid to the park, etc. People ooh and ahh when they see a dad doing these things but don’t bat an eyelash when they see a mom doing the same thing.

If you are interested in joining a clinical consultation group, you can ask for referrals from colleagues or professional organizations, or search online for groups in your area. Many groups are offered through local mental health organizations, private practice clinicians, professional associations, or online platforms. It's important to find a group that is a good fit for your needs and interests, and that provides a supportive and collaborative environment for learning and growth. At Whole Person Integration, we provide clinical consultation for psychologists and psychotherapists who are seeking to enrich their practices and offerings to patients.

Sleeping separately helps everyone get a better night’s sleep because they don’t have to contend with snoring, blanket-hogging, or different sleep schedules.

Sex…it’s something that is typically part of a romantic partnership or marriage and it’s wise to have a conversation about it from the beginning of a connection. People may be asexual, pansexual, have a high interest in sex, have kinky desires, prefer a vanilla scene, or anything in between. But there is a prevalent and under-talked about sexual concern in some relationships.

These non-apologies essentially blame the other person for feeling upset or hurt. There isn’t acknowledgment on the part of the person who did the hurting so they aren’t real apologies. That’s the key, acknowledgment of one’s own actions. The non-apologies are defensive statements that endeavor to get the person who is doing the apologizing “off the hook.” The statements don’t take responsibility for the person’s actions so they aren’t real apologies.

We human beings are complex and often, unconsciously and creatively, employ various strategies to avoid pain: primarily addictions and bypassing. Spiritual bypassing is sidestepping or avoiding facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks but talking the talk of an individual who is more “spiritually evolved.”

The medical profession is becoming increasingly interested in using psychedelics for deeper healing and given the resurgence in the West (note that using psychedelics for healing has been practiced indigenously for millennia), it’s no wonder people from all backgrounds, including those in recovery from addiction, are curious whether psychedelics can help them.

You can communicate with your inner child(ren) as much as you’d like, and as with anything, as long as it doesn’t interfere with other areas of your life. Your active imagination can take you far. Where do you want to go?

Not that long ago, cross-dressing was the brunt of many jokes. It was considered the height of hilarity to put a man in a dress and heels or a woman in a too-large man’s suit. Some younger people who may be reading this might have a hard time fathoming such a reality, depending on your social circle and location.

Perfectionism is an attempt to hold onto the illusion of control. It’s a creation of the mind to give a sense of power to a situation or environment where helplessness may abound. When the environment is chaotic, the mind wants to create control from within. One way of doing that is to begin a practice of self-discipline and buy into the idea that perfection exists and that you can embody it in this world (you simply cannot). Inner child work can be healing for perfectionism.

Some folx grew up too soon and were forced to be adults before they were ready. This happens for a variety of reasons and one of those reasons is covert incest, also known as enmeshment. Enmeshment occurs when a parent or caregiver looks to their child for emotional support and psychological validation. In other words, there aren’t strong boundaries within the family. And those strong boundaries are necessary for the safety of the child. They are also necessary for the safety of the parent’s psyche but the child’s psyche is really negatively affected.

Why is inner child play a way to heal from trauma? Because every time something substantial or traumatic took place in your life, it was registered within and inner child play is one avenue of healing, if you wish to engage with it.

For someone in that situation, it may feel confusing or even like gaslighting. Generally, people want healthy, functional, emotionally regulated parents. There’s grief when that’s not present and why focusing on reparenting yourself can be so healing. To see the sort of parenting you wish you could have received given to your kids, but not to you, can bring up numerous feelings.

Don’t let art and social media bully you into feeling something that’s not authentic. Remember, this is a time of year for hibernating and going inward. It’s not only the winter solstice itself that brings up the sentiment, it’s also the days leading up to the solstice and the ones after it. We are in the midst of that time. Yes, it’s the holidays, but it’s also winter.

We can honor the rhythm of winter by withdrawing from the world in ways that feel right. They may feel unfamiliar because we are so conditioned to lean in and be a part of what’s around us instead. Maybe it means staying home more or taking solo walks. Slowing down can feel incredibly challenging because the regular busyness of life often distracts from the feelings inside. If we’re rushing around, it’s harder to notice the body’s cues or to become curious about lingering emotions. Instead, we’re too caught up in our to-do lists to notice what’s happening internally.

Fawning looks like codependence. It’s putting someone else’s needs above your own. It’s struggling to say “no” and saying “yes” when you don’t want to. Your orientation is toward other people instead of yourself, “What will make them happy?” not “What will make me happy?” It’s making yourself responsible for other people’s actions and reactions: “I must have done something wrong. If only I’d done XYZ, they wouldn’t be angry/withdrawn/upset, etc.”

When you practice acceptance, you’re no longer focusing outward. You’re no longer trying to change, fix, or control other people and situations so you can feel happy, fulfilled, peaceful, or whatever it is you think will happen if only they did XYZ or if ABC looked different. Instead, you’re keeping the focus on yourself and asking what you can do right now, given these circumstances and these people, to feel the way you want to feel.

Over and over again, the patriarchy tries to disenfranchise women and other minorities. Who the minority groups are varies from country to country, but regardless, those in power wish to remain in power and as we’re seeing, they’ll do anything to stay in that position. Including detaining thousands of protestors and executing those who dare to defy their authority.

To stay sane during the holidays, I encourage my patients, clients, and students to continue the practices they have at other times of the year: breathwork, somatic work, yoga nidra, freewriting, getting outside, etc. It may feel tempting to let these practices fall by the wayside, but in times of stress, you need them more. Make sure you prioritize you because you are the most important relationship you’ll ever have.

Witches, of today and yesteryear, accept all parts of themselves, which promotes psychological healing for us all. There is a depth of healing that can occur when individual work is done that enacts not only on their own psyche but also heals collective trauma. When intergenerational and collective trauma are more richly understood and focused upon, deeper layers of healing can occur.