How to Work with Judgment

Whatever you're judging yourself about, it's worth it to ask if maybe the judge is mistaken and practice accepting yourself as you, right now. You don't have to do it alone, if you look around you might find there are already people in your life who love and accept you without changing a thing. Seek them out and let them shine that love upon you while you learn to do it for yourself.

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Physical Intimacy is More than Sex

The pleasure-oriented approach emphasizes all parts of the sexual encounter, including what has traditionally been called "foreplay," a word I take issue with. Historically, foreplay has been a heterosexual relationship concern. Often, men assume they have to do this/these act(s) known as foreplay (digital stim, oral stim, etc.) in order to really get to “it” (intercourse).

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Healing Through Connection: The Transformative Power of Working with a Psychologist and Relationship Surrogate

Open communication is the cornerstone of the triadic model. As the psychologist, I meet regularly with both the client and the surrogate to ensure that the process aligns with the client’s goals and emotional well-being. These meetings also allow us to adjust the pace or focus of the work based on the client’s evolving needs.

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Happy, Romantic Relationships Need Space

It may seem counterintuitive because romantic relationships are about intimacy and closeness, but what they really need to thrive and flourish is space. Happy, romantic relationships need space or one or both partners can feel suffocated, controlled, and dominated. Belgian psychotherapist Esther Perel discusses this topic extensively both in Ted Talks and her book Mating in Captivity.

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Ketamine and Kratom

Ketamine is lumped into the same category as psychedelics but it works differently than classical psychedelics like psilocybin or LSD. Ketamine relaxes chandelier cells in the brain, which control pyramidal cells. The pyramidal cells are the “thinking” cells and pass on messages to other neurons. By relaxing that grip, ketamine can produce a dissociative effect; a person can feel “floaty” or like they’re in a different reality

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Dwelling in Our Bodies: Mindfulness for Sex Workers

Because of the unique situation for sex workers, they don’t have many opportunities for support, especially as a group. As a certified sexologist, sex therapist, not to mention proponent of social justice in general, I care deeply about sex and sex work. I’ve worked with people in this profession for more than two decades. It’s been important, deeply transformative work ranging from outreach to counseling.

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Are you Gaslighting Yourself?

Gaslighting can be unconscious. It can be so effortless you don’t even know it’s happening. It could be your normal way of operating and last for years unchecked because it thrives in the shadows. That also means by looking at the shadow, by doing shadow work, it’s possible to reconnect with reality and that internal light can shine forth like a beacon.

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Access the Unconscious with Active Imagination

Your unconscious is consistently communicating with you and the more you work with the unconscious, the happier, healthier, and more integrated you may feel. That’s what Jung is speaking to in his famous quote, “There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

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Death and Dying Psychotherapy: A Time for Contemplation

After expressing all the emotions that arise, be it anger, sorrow, disappointment, etc., the dying person may start to have acceptance that death is happening. It’s not something theoretical in the far, distant future, but instead here, now. The person isn’t “giving up,” but rather giving in or surrendering, accepting the inevitable, the natural order of life. Life is not possible without death just like light is not possible without shadow.

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Narcissism: The Shadow of Organized Religion

We’re seeing the shadow side of the Catholic church, the side they want to hide but must be dealt with. Carl Jung popularized shadow work in the West and emphasized that we all have different parts of ourselves that have been exiled, that we try to repress or keep hidden. One of Jung’s most famous quotes is, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

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