Healing Through Connection: The Transformative Power of Working with a Psychologist and Relationship Surrogate

by Dr. Denise Renye

Working with a psychologist and a relationship surrogate in a triadic therapeutic model can be a transformative and deeply enriching experience for clients. As a sex therapist, I have had the privilege of witnessing this collaborative approach unfold, offering clients a unique pathway toward healing and growth.

What Is the Triadic Model?

The triadic model involves three key participants: the client, the psychologist (or primary therapist), and the relationship surrogate. Together, they form a team where each member plays a distinct role in addressing the client’s relational or sexual challenges.

The psychologist oversees the therapeutic process, providing the framework, guidance, and emotional support necessary for the client’s journey. The relationship surrogate offers experiential learning by engaging directly with the client in structured, progressive exercises designed to develop intimacy, communication, and physical comfort.

Why Choose This Model?

Many clients who seek this form of therapy have experienced longstanding difficulties in relationships or intimacy that traditional talk therapy alone has been unable to resolve. Issues such as social anxiety, touch aversion, or unaddressed trauma can deeply impact a person’s ability to connect with others. The triadic model allows clients to learn and practice new skills in real-time, bridging the gap between insight and action.

The Client’s Perspective

From the client’s point of view, entering this model can feel both exciting and daunting. Working with a surrogate involves a level of vulnerability that can initially stir apprehension. However, clients often report that the presence of a supportive psychologist creates a safe container for these experiences.

Clients frequently describe the surrogate’s role as instrumental in helping them overcome fears of rejection or inadequacy. For example, through guided exercises in communication or non-sexual touch, clients learn to express their needs and boundaries—skills that can profoundly impact their personal relationships.

The Role of Trust and Communication

Open communication is the cornerstone of the triadic model. As the psychologist, I meet regularly with both the client and the surrogate to ensure that the process aligns with the client’s goals and emotional well-being. These meetings also allow us to adjust the pace or focus of the work based on the client’s evolving needs.

For many clients, this approach demystifies the process of intimacy, transforming it from an abstract concept into a tangible skill set. The feedback they receive from both the surrogate and myself reinforces their progress and builds confidence.

Common Challenges

As with any therapeutic model, challenges can arise. Clients may encounter resistance within themselves, such as feelings of shame or fear. They may also grapple with societal stigmas surrounding surrogate partner therapy. Part of my role as a psychologist is to help clients navigate these emotional and cultural barriers, reminding them that their healing journey is valid and courageous.

Ethics and Boundaries

Ethical considerations are paramount in this work. The triadic model is grounded in transparency, informed consent, and respect for boundaries. As a psychologist, I ensure that all participants understand the scope and purpose of the work, and I adhere to professional guidelines that prioritize the client’s safety and autonomy.

Transformative Outcomes

Clients often emerge from this process with a renewed sense of self-worth and a deeper understanding of their relational patterns. They report feeling more equipped to engage in authentic, fulfilling connections. For many, the triadic model serves as a bridge from isolation to intimacy, offering hope where there was once despair.

The collaboration between a psychologist and a relationship surrogate is a powerful testament to the healing potential of human connection. As a sex therapist, I am continually inspired by the resilience and courage of clients who embark on this journey. Together, we create a space where growth and healing become not just possible, but inevitable.

As a trained sex therapist, this area of therapy is a particular specialty in my practice. If you’re ready to explore the transformative potential of working with a psychologist and a relationship surrogate, I invite you to reach out. Let’s work together to help you build the intimate and fulfilling connections you deserve.