Wait…But Can Men Have Babies?

 By: Dr. Denise Renye

With generation gaps, holding on to old-school thinking, and just plain fear of change, it may be hard to feel like you can keep up with changes in things that you truly believed were fundamentally unchangeable, like gender. There are some people like Missouri Senator Josh Hawley who actively deny that trans people exist and think it’s “crazy” that someone born with a penis can identify as a woman. However, there are others who are genuinely confused. “How is it possible for someone with a penis to call themselves a woman or someone with a uterus to call themselves a man? Don’t body parts designate gender?” If you’re one of those people who is confused or doesn’t understand how a man can have a baby, this post is for you.

Before we get into what it means to be transgender, let’s take a step back. If a woman has her uterus removed, does that make her any less of a woman? Would a hysterectomy mean a woman would no longer be able to call herself a woman if she so desired? What if a man has one or both testes removed? This can happen  as an intervention if testicular cancer is detected. Is he no longer a man? In those scenarios, you’re likely saying, “Of course not. They’re still the same gender.” That means body parts don’t actually play as much of a role in gender as many people have been taught.

Instead, gender is a social construct and identity. It’s an internalized sense of masculinity/femininity that is shaped by a complex interaction of genetic, hormonal, and social forces. That means, yes, biology does play a role. Having certain body parts will stimulate and produce certain hormones like testosterone or estrogen. Those hormones affect how a person feels, what happens in their bodies, and more. However, changes in hormone levels, brain chemistry, and more make the issue more nuanced.  

It’s also true that society plays a part in gender identity because it treats boys and girls differently, encouraging certain behaviors – like aggression – in boys and discouraging it in girls. Our society has a lot of dictates for how to express gender and not everyone falls into that binary. There are some people who feel like they’re both genders or neither gender. That’s what it means to be nonbinary or genderqueer.

For the majority of people, their biological sex and gender identity corresponds. For some people, it does not, which is what it means to be trans. To ease the discomfort and dissatisfaction with the incongruency of biological sex and gender identity, called gender dysphoria, some folx transition. That could mean engaging in some sort of surgery like top surgery to remove breasts or taking hormones to physically change the body.

For a trans man, he identifies as a man and maybe he’s taking testosterone to grow facial hair or had his breasts removed so his outsides more closely match how he feels internally. Or maybe he’s not doing those things and expresses his gender identity in other ways. Regardless, some trans men still have uteruses, which means if any sperm meet their egg, that can result in pregnancy. In other words, yes, men can have babies if they have a uterus. If a person is a cis-gendered man, meaning they were born with a penis and identify as a man, then no, they cannot have a baby. However, if a person identifies as a man, still has a uterus, wants to have a baby, and gets pregnant, yes, this man can have a baby.

It may be hard for some folx to grapple with the concept of men having babies because it’s so incredibly far out of the realm of anything that you are used to. Thoughts like “that’s not how it’s supposed to be,” “But that’s never how it’s been,” or “It didn’t use to be that way” may creep in. That’s understandable. However, pause and consider that things are outwardly different now and change is real. As long as you attempt to continue living the old way, your limiting beliefs are not only boxing others in but they are violent because they actively harm transfolx by denying they exist, making them feel unwelcome, or refusing to provide them with adequate medical care. The world is already hard enough, why not make it easier if you can?  

 To set up an appointment with me (Marin County Sexologist), click here.

Journal Prompts

·      When I imagine the phrase “men can have babies” what thoughts do I become aware of?

·      If a person who identifies as a man wants to have a baby, how does this directly affect my life?

·      What are the messages that I grew up with around traditions regarding men, women, and family obligations (such as child-rearing)?

Recommended Reading

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Trans (But Were Afraid to Ask) by Brynn Tannehill

If you have any questions or want more information regarding gender, reach out to me, and stay connected by subscribing to my newsletter.