The Similarities Between the Ultra-Rich and the Ultra-Poor
By: Dr. Denise Renye
At first glance, it seems like the extremely poor and the extremely wealthy couldn’t possibly have similar experiences in this lifetime. One worries about where to park their yacht while the other worries about scrounging up money for the bus. However, it may surprise you to learn both groups have more in common than you’d think. I say this as someone who has worked with folx experiencing extreme poverty and extreme wealth on both coasts of the U.S. as well as globally.
People in each category tend to feel extremely lonely and ostracized because it’s hard for others to grasp what life is like for them. If you’re making decisions about paying either the electricity bill or the gas bill, others won’t understand why buying Beyoncé tickets are out of the question. Similarly, for most folx, flying to Paris for the weekend last minute is not an option so they might not understand how that’s an option for you if you’re wealthy.
Each group is in the minority, yet similar in size. Some numbers for you: According to the U.S. 2020 Census, the official poverty rate was 11.4% and for an individual, that amounts to making $12,880 per year or $35.28 per day.
The percentage of wealthy people varies, depending on what you’re measuring. There were 788 billionaires in the U.S. as of 2020 according to the Census, but I think it’s more interesting to note that more than 8% of Americans are millionaires because that number is fairly close to the 11.4% living in poverty. Also, about 6.25% of U.S. households have a net worth of $2 million or more.
Being on the edges of society, no matter which extreme, often comes with certain mental and emotional stress. Both groups can potentially struggle with a feeling of guilt – either because they have too much or too little – as well as fear. People in poverty worry about meeting their basic needs whereas people with wealth worry about what will happen if their money disappears.
Both groups also struggle with shame, or the belief there’s something wrong with them for feeling the way they do. Living in extreme poverty is something folx want to hide because they’re ashamed, but many of the ultra-rich try to do the same. It’s much less socially acceptable to say, “I have a ton of money,” than “I’m broke right now.”
Psychotherapist Clay Cockrell works with the ultra-rich and writes in the Guardian, “There is a perception that money can immunise you against mental-health problems when actually, I believe that wealth can make you – and the people closest to you – much more susceptible to them.”
That’s because isolation often exacerbates mental health issues. Connection is what allows humans to flourish and without it, we can spiral into anxiety or depression. For the ultra-rich, they may struggle to get close to others because there’s a constant fear that people want something from them if they’re wealthy, that others are trying to manipulate them, or folx are only friends with them because of their money.
If the business you built or inherited runs itself without you, you may feel a lack of purpose. “What am I doing with my life? What’s the point?” Feelings like those can lead to chasing the next high, to using something external to fill an internal void. To chase the next dopamine hit. When people get to that place, that’s often when they’re ready to start doing internal work. They’ve learned success, as traditionally defined in a patriarchal, White supremacist society, is not enough. Instead, they begin to turn inward to find the happiness, fulfillment, and contentment they seek.
As a society, we often think money can solve most any problem. It cannot. For some things, yes, money is a great solution, but for lasting emotional ease? That can’t be bought. That’s why I encourage the people I work with to come to know themselves more deeply, explore their internal landscapes, heal their wounds, and live a more integrated life.
Journal prompts
· What is your definition of success?
· In what ways am I tying my happiness or security to money?
· What do I know about my internal landscape and how it relates to success?
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References
Cockrell, Clay. “I’m a therapist to the super-rich: they are as miserable as Succession makes out.” The Guardian. November 22, 2021. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/nov/22/therapist-super-rich-succession-billionaires
Exley Jr., Robert. “More than 8% of American adults are millionaires. Here’s how they got wealthy.” CNBC. February 21, 2021. https://www.cnbc.com/2021/02/09/more-than-8-percent-of-american-adults-are-millionaires-heres-how-they-got-wealthy.html
Lynkova, Darina. “28 Millionaire Statistics: What Percentage of Americans Are Millionaires?” Spendmenot.com. April 12, 2022. https://spendmenot.com/blog/what-percentage-of-americans-are-millionaires/#:~:text=How%20many%20multi%2Dmillionaires%20are%20in%20the%20US%3F&text=About%208%2C046%2C080%20US%20households%20have,about%206.25%25%20of%20American%20households.
U.S. Census Bureau. “National Poverty in America Awareness Month: January 2022.” Census.gov. January 21, 2022. https://www.census.gov/newsroom/stories/poverty-awareness-month.html.