Gone are the days when marriage meant being with someone solely for the sake of fulfilling societal expectations or securing financial stability. Now people seek partners who offer emotional availability, understanding, and support. They desire relationships built on mutual respect, shared values, and a sense of partnership. They want companions who enhance their lives and share their journeys. People want a partner who listens with empathy, communicates openly, and demonstrates emotional maturity. It’s part of the reason I’ve seen an uptick in requests for premarital counseling – modern couples recognize marriage takes effort and they want to enter their marriage with as many tools in their toolbox as possible.

Ultimately, the decision to open up a marriage should be based on mutual respect, honesty, and a commitment to each other's well-being. If you and your partner are able to approach the idea of non-monogamy with an open and honest mindset, and if you are both genuinely interested in exploring this type of relationship, it can be a positive and fulfilling experience. However, if either of you are approaching the idea of an open marriage from a place of fear, avoidance, or dishonesty, it may be wise to seek the help of a qualified therapist or counselor to work through these issues before taking any further steps.

Sex…it’s something that is typically part of a romantic partnership or marriage and it’s wise to have a conversation about it from the beginning of a connection. People may be asexual, pansexual, have a high interest in sex, have kinky desires, prefer a vanilla scene, or anything in between. But there is a prevalent and under-talked about sexual concern in some relationships.

In the hypersexualized culture of the U.S., asexuality is not discussed much but it still exists. Around 1% of the population, perhaps more, are asexual (or “aces”) according to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. Asexuality is not celibacy. Celibacy is a choice to abstain from sexual activity whereas asexuality is a sexual orientation intrinsic to the person, similar to other sexual orientations. Asexuality is also not abstinence, a phase, an inability to find a partner, or evidence of sexual dysfunction. It’s an inherent way of being.