How to Prioritize Self-Care as a Therapist in Challenging Times

By: Dr. Denise Renye

As a seasoned psychologist and online sex therapist, I’ve witnessed many colleagues struggle with burnout. We hold space for clients navigating deeply challenging experiences—fear, violence, abuse, and other forms of trauma—which can take a profound toll over time. It’s a lot to hold and why I tell my supervisees and consultees that grounding and self-care are essential.

In the helping professions, it’s tempting to push aside your own needs in favor of caring for someone else. It’s clear how much the other person needs support and there may be a sense of urgency around their needs. When you’re so used to helping others, it’s easy to put your own needs at the bottom of the list. Self-care can feel like a luxury but it’s not.

In challenging times, prioritizing our own well-being is a necessity. If you burn out, you can’t take care of yourself, let alone other people. As therapists, we guide others in reconnecting with themselves and discovering what they truly need. The same applies to us. That means doing the following:

·      Set clear boundaries. Remember that a boundary (not a barrier) is crucial for a relationship to be functional. Without boundaries, the relationship (including the therapeutic relationship) can become toxic. Protect your time and energy by limiting session loads, scheduling breaks, and maintaining work-life balance. It can feel hard to do because you have such a big heart but you have your own life. It also deserves tending.

·      Engage in grounding practices. Challenging times are stressful. There may be more mental swirl and rumination. In other words, there might be more happening in your mind and thus it’s crucial to get back into your body. Movement, breathwork, meditation, and time in nature can help regulate your nervous system. You need as much calm and peace as you can get to move through the stress.

·      Seek support. As a therapist, you may feel that you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders because you’re holding the stories of your patients and clients. You don’t have to navigate alone. Consultation, peer support, or personal therapy can provide guidance and validation for your feelings and help you process what’s happening for you and the people you work with.

·      Limit exposure to stressors. When the outside world is stressful and chaotic, it can feel like you must know what’s happening in order to keep yourself safe. While there’s truth to that, it is important to be aware of what’s happening, and remember there is such a thing as too much information. Doomscrolling can invoke anxiety, helplessness, and fear. There’s a balance between being informed and harming yourself by engaging too much. Learn what that balance is for you.

·      Prioritize rest and nourishment. It may feel as if the best thing to do right now is to work as much as possible. When people are hurting, you want to help them. That’s noble, but again, your workload needs to be sustainable and you deserve rest too. Ensure you’re getting adequate sleep, hydration, and nutrition to sustain your well-being. And if you need a break or a vacation, take one. You’re not a failure, you’re not bad at your job. You’re investing in your longevity as a therapist.

·      Lean into creative outlets. Being a therapist can come with a heavy emotional toll. You’re hearing so much day in and day out. You, too, need to process what you’re carrying, and expressing yourself through art, writing, music, dance or some other creative format can be powerful.

·      Embrace imperfection. As you’re working with people, perfectionism may rear its head. Perhaps you’re worried about saying the “wrong” thing or making a mistake. You and the people you work with are constantly growing and learning, which means you’ll all make mistakes. There is no “perfect” and uncertainty is part of the human experience. Not only on the personal level but the societal one. The Buddhist concept of the “bardos” describes the in-between place of not knowing, of uncertainty. It’s an uncomfortable place to be but we’ve been here before and we’ll be here again. Truthfully, we are always in the bardos but sometimes we forget that. We think we know what will happen in the future, but we don’t. Certainty is an illusion and we’re seeing that play out in the political arena right now.

·      Stay connected. In challenging times it’s tempting to stay in a hidey-hole, to withdraw from everyone. But humans, and you, too, need connection. Reach out to colleagues, friends, and loved ones for support and perspective. You’re reminding yourself and your nervous system that you’re not alone.

·      Reaffirm your purpose. Sometimes when things are uncertain or chaotic, it can be helpful to remind yourself why you do this work in the first place. What do you like about it? What do you find fulfilling? How is it meaningful even in, or perhaps especially in, challenging moments?

Uncertainty and challenges can amplify stress and emotional fatigue, making it even more crucial to lean into what nourishes us, whether that’s time in nature, creative expression, or moments of stillness. By tending to ourselves with the same compassion we offer our clients, we sustain our ability to show up fully, with clarity and presence, even in the midst of the unknown.

If you’re a therapist and want to talk to another professional, reach out. Remember, you’re not alone.