How will you Pride this year?

By: Dr. Denise Renye

unsplash-image-7FtM9dZ9ck8.jpg

 

It’s that time of the year again! Pride time! It’s like no other. There’s jubilance and rainbows of inclusivity everywhere, including inside my heart! The official kick-off of summer, June is Pride month, or the month LGBTQIA+ folx are self-affirming. There is an increased sense of dignity, equality, and visibility. The feeling of pride is in direct contrast to the shame, expectance of violence, and social stigma that is painfully woven into the foundation of the community’s coming out. Pride month is a way to create, build, and deepen community.

 

Community is extremely important for everyone, and especially so for the gays, dykes, bis, trans, intersexes, and a’s, the sexual minorities who have often been relegated to the shadows or (violently) kicked out of certain communities for their sexual orientation, identification, expression, and behavior. This month is a chance to come together and feel safe in the beingness of self.  However, just like any community, within will be subcommunities with different interests.

 

Not everyone will fit in with everyone else because people are different even if they are under a large umbrella together. Pride offers something for everyone! There are parties for gay boys, leather daddies, leather dykes, knitting circles, wellness events, political events, dance parties, and parades. A few years ago, I taught yoga during SF Pride at the Women’s Building in San Francisco. The mind-body events are a very different feel, and while there can definitely be some overlap it can be a different subcommunity than can be found bumpin and grindin at da club, as you can imagine.

 

Last year, Pride events that required in-person elements and large crowds were canceled due to the pandemic. This year, Pride will also be different than years past due to the pandemic. Because we are still in the pandemic, technically.

 

Yes, more people are getting vaccinated and yes COVID-19 rates are dropping, but there’s still an element of caution in the air. Some events will be pushed back until later this year or even next year. Here in San Francisco, there will not be a parade like there usually is, but rather a Pride movie night with face masks and social distancing. Los Angeles will have two outdoor Pride events. (If you’re interested in discovering Pride events happening near you, check out this calendar.) Some places will also have virtual components of in-person events like in Atlanta with the Pride Run. You can sign up and run anywhere you want, but still get a shirt for participating.

 

And while Pride looks different this year, just remember this month isn’t only about parades and movie nights. Pride originated as an anti-police uprising in 1969 that resulted in four days of protests. Police violently raided a gay bar in New York’s West Village, the Stonewall Inn, and the bar’s patrons fought back. The following year, people in New York commemorated the event and Pride was born. However, you wouldn’t necessarily know Pride has anti-police roots judging by corporate America’s embrace of Pride as another avenue to sell stuff by slapping a rainbow flag on it.

 

In some ways this increased visibility is a victory. Naveen Kumar writes:

 

“The fact that the queer community and its allies have attained enough influence to warrant a flood of national campaigns is certainly a major milestone. Anti-LGBTQ+ opponents have been drowned out, and more significantly, their loss of business deemed worth it by companies touting rainbow promotions. Some brands have even shut down naysayers with value judgements that themselves have gone viral.”

 

However, are these brands merely opportunists, hypocrites, or disingenuous? After all, a company can unfurl a rainbow flag and still donate to anti-LGBTQIA+ politicians and organizations. Plus, commercial visibility does not equal victory in the movement for LGBTQIA+ rights. Nor does it mean the most vulnerable folx are receiving the support they need. Performative allyship is alive, thriving, and capitalizing.

 

Kumar goes on to say:

 

“Once it’s been co-opted as a commercial venture, Pride only extends to those who can consume that commerce, leaving the most vulnerable queer populations — those in need of real advocacy, protections, and action — out of the picture entirely. And while many corporate Pride campaigns make efforts to donate proceeds to LGBTQ+ organizations, the fact remains that commerce begets commerce, widening the gap between who can and can’t ‘consume’ Pride in the first place, and distracting from the fact that donations are just one part of the equation of progress.”

 

Donations are only one part of the puzzle and just because there’s a plethora of Pride commerce doesn’t mean there’s no more work to be done in the field of equal rights. For instance, I’d like to call your attention to the high degree of violence trans folx face and also how a Supreme Court case will be decided within a month that will determine whether adoption agencies can deny same-sex couples. There’s still a very long way to go before LGBTQIA+ folx have the same protections as other groups. And at the same time progress has been made. Things are better in certain respects for the queer community. This can be said in major metropolitan areas but it can’t necessarily be said for other areas and in some parts of the world. In certain places, being or expressing anything that is not heterosexual is considered illegal.

 

There is so much I appreciate about Pride. It has something for everyone and, as most things in life – if not all – can be an avenue to know yourself better and more deeply.

 

If you’d like to hear more about my take on these and other topics, sign up for my email newsletter. To set up an appointment with me (Marin County Sexologist), click here.

  

 

References

 

Conner, Katie. “Pride Month 2021: LGBTQ parades, events and activities this June.” CNET.com https://www.cnet.com/how-to/pride-month-2021-lgbtq-parades-events-and-activities-this-june/, June 5, 2021.

 

Kumar, Naveen. “The Double-Edged Sword of Corporate, Commercialized Pride.” Them.us. https://www.them.us/story/corporate-pride, June 28, 2019.

 

Terruso, Julia. “A Supreme Court decision involving Philadelphia and religious rights is coming. Here’s what you need to know.” Philadelphia Inquirer. https://www.inquirer.com/news/fulton-vs-philadelphia-decision-supreme-court-20210608.html. June 8, 2021.