Is God Love?
By: Dr. Denise Renye
On March 15, the Vatican said it cannot bless same-sex marriages, no matter how stable or positive the couples' relationships are. Despite increasing acceptance for these types of unions socially as well as legally, the Catholic Church continues to reiterate marriage remains between a man and a woman.
Blessing a same-sex relationship would also be an "imitation" of the nuptial blessing and God "does not and cannot bless sin,” the Vatican said. Pope Francis himself wrote in 2016 that "there are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God's plan for marriage and family," an NPR article reported.
For LGBTQI Catholics, this can be, and is, traumatic because in essence, the Catholic church is saying there’s something bad, wrong, and sinful about their relationships. For Christians everywhere, it could create confusion as Jesus taught love and acceptance of all. These Catholics are merely trying to live their lives in congruence with their feelings and who they are, but the Vatican is telling them, “No, don’t do that. And if you do, you’ll burn in hell for eternity.”
This sort of message is deeply psychologically damaging because LGBTQI Catholics may feel ashamed, guilty, or humiliated. They may try to cope with that shame through substance abuse or even suicidal ideation. I have worked in the field of psychology and social work for a variety of LGBTQI organizations for over 20 years and I have witnessed first-hand the trauma that ignites from such horrific discrimination, heterosexism, and being on the receiving end of such disdain.
From my point of view as a certified sexologist, the institution of religion (very different from spirituality, mind you) is fixated on the topic. The Catholic Church doesn’t teach comprehensive sexuality education and instead advocates abstinence only until marriage, which as we’ve seen over and over doesn’t work. In 2017, Columbia University published two studies on the topic and found “The weight of scientific evidence shows these programs do not help young people delay initiation of sexual intercourse.” Instead, teenagers wind up pregnant and feeling forced to birth the child, or coerced into marriages before they are ready. Trauma permeates these hateful theoretical underpinnings of out-of-date practices.
Then there are the priests, monks, and nuns. They are not permitted to have sexual relationships with themselves, even, because masturbation is considered wrong, and they are not allowed to have sexual relationships with others, because that is considered wrong. It’s almost as if the institution of the church cannot trust people to hold reverence for God and for sex all at once. Yet sexuality is a natural part of being human. To deny that aspect of self is like denying you need food to eat. There is a nourishment that is taken away in this controlling line of thinking and set of rules over one’s own body.
I think we see this in the harmful irony of priests moving from parish to parish to keep it under wraps there is active child sexual abuse occurring, or some other kind of sexual misconduct. If sexual expression is not encouraged nor is there a healthy outlet, that form of control will trickle down and sexuality may be expressed in harmful, sadistic, and trauma-inducing ways towards others. This is particularly true in a culture like the Catholic Church that has intense issues with sex and sexuality. These are conversations that are important to have and there are some churches that openly defy the Vatican.
Austrian-based Parish Priests not only bless same-sex marriages, but they advocate for priests to marry and to allow women to also become priests. It should be noted that true to form, the Vatican has cracked down on the Parish Priests.
What can the Vatican do to truly make right what has been a wrong for such a long time? Denying basic human rights of sexuality and sexual expression together with covering up hundreds of years of lies creates systemic trauma that may be impossible to heal from during one lifetime. The harm perpetuated against LGBTQI folx is beyond unacceptable.
For more on all sorts of topics, stay in touch here.
For consideration:
If the Vatican is a Representation of God and God is a representation of Love, how could a man-made (emphasis on the word ‘man’) law on behalf of the Vatican be so discriminatory?
References
Chappell, Bill. “Vatican Says Catholic Church Cannot Bless Same-Sex Marriages.” NPR. March 15, 2021. https://www.npr.org/2021/03/15/977415222/illicit-for-catholic-church-to-bless-same-sex-marriages-vatican-says
Columbia University. “Abstinence-Only Education is a Failure.” https://www.publichealth.columbia.edu/public-health-now/news/abstinence-only-education-failure. August 22, 2017.
Shields, Michael. “The Vatican has said that priests cannot bless same-sex unions and that such blessings are not valid.” Reuters. March 16, 2021. https://news.trust.org/item/20210316124934-4j1yv