Why Using the Word ‘Vulva’ Matters

By: Dr. Denise Renye

 Language can shape so many things including culture, values, self-image, and self-esteem. As a certified sexologist, I see this firsthand in my clinical and educational work with people. And as a clinical psychologist, I see the negative psychological and emotional repercussions that occur from being disconnected from one’s body. What we label and call things can have a big impact and when this comes to body parts, its especially important to be aware of this. For instance, some people may refer to their genitalia as “junk” or “down there,” However, unless you are talking about something that needs to be hauled off your property and taken to the dump, or you are referring to the basement of your house, it’s important to learn and use correct language.

Using correct language can increase both safety, as well as pleasure. From a young age, we should all learn biologically accurate and appropriate names for our body parts. You would never refer to your arm as a “floppy flop” or some other pet name. But people make pet names for their genitals because many are inherently uncomfortable with the topic of sexuality, sensuality, and most notably, pleasure.

Teaching children accurate language increases safety and as those children grow they have more agency over their bodies. This can and does lead to more confidence and safety in intimate situations for adults. When safety and confidence are present, pleasure has the possibility of being more present than the feeling of anxiety. Anxiety and pleasure cannot coexist.   

If you’re like most people, you were taught to use the word “vagina” to refer to the genitalia of those who were assigned female at birth. However, the vagina is only the muscular canal that connects the uterus to the cervix. Vulva on the other hand, encompasses all the external organs: the mons pubis (pubic mound), the labia majora and minora, the clitoris, the external openings of the urethra, and the vagina. If you’d like to view a diagram (and you should definitely want to view a diagram so we’re all on the same page!), check out Planned Parenthood’s website.  

Why does it matter which word you use? It matters because using the word “vagina” reduces all of a person’s genitalia down to the part that is most pleasurable for heterosexual men. I’m not the only one who thinks so. American feminist and psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner said using the word vagina when meaning the vulva is a “psychic genital mutilation.”

 “What is not named does not exist,” she said in a Guardian article. “The vagina is essential for heterosexual penis-in-vagina sex and childbirth and so the word has come to be tolerated if not exactly celebrated. The vulva – with its clitoris – represents something more taboo than even sex and menstruation: female pleasure. It is a place of independent female sexuality, a place that can exist – happily – unperturbed by a penis. And so the vulva has been sidelined.”

Laurie Mintz, a counseling psychology professor at the University of Florida and author of A Tired Woman’s Guide To Passionate Sex, concurs. She told the Huffington Post, “Every time we use the word ‘vagina’ when we really mean ‘vulva,’ we’re erasing the part that gives us the most pleasure. Does it matter? I think at a very unconscious, subtle level, it really does.” I will go further to say that it definitely matters, even more so than “subtly.” It is imperative for the vulva to be acknowledged, named (accurately), and honored as the sacred pleasure hub that it is!

Let’s talk about pleasure a little more. What’s incredibly fascinating about the clitoris is it’s the only organ in the body devoted solely to pleasure! And furthermore, it’s bigger than we originally thought. It’s not the tiny, pea-sized body part most people think it is – that’s only the gland. In fact, there are two 4-inch roots that reach down from the gland toward the vagina, which means the clitoris is responsible not only for clitoral orgasms, but also vaginal ones because the clitoris is stimulated through the vagina as well. And to even separate the two seems absurd and sometimes unnecessary. This is especially the case if there is a high level of understanding within oneself and between/among partners.

Something I want to mention here is while there are generalities when it comes to anatomy, there is no one way a vulva “should” look. I find it alarming that labiaplasty – a procedure to reduce the labia minora, but also a clitoral hood reduction and vaginal “tightening” – is one of the fastest growing cosmetic surgeries around the world! In the U.S., a total of 13,266 labiaplasties were performed in 2016, with 23,155 procedures undertaken in Brazil the same year.

According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, labiaplasties have increased in popularity by 217% in the past five years! What’s even more alarming is that there are no training standards for these types of procedures and detailed surgical anatomy of the vulva and vulvar physiology are missing from plastic surgery literature, according to Feminist Current. So why have this sort of surgery in the first place? I’d argue it again goes back to pleasing the male gaze.

Jessica Masterson writes in the Feminist Current article that:

“The female genitals favoured by the mainstream porn market are characterized by small pink labia, often with no visible labia minora. When large labia are shown, they are represented as a fetish – something freakish and dehumanizing. PornHub showcases videos of women with large labia titled, “Latina with Long Hanging Lips on Webcam” and “Hot Coed Masturbates her Huge Flapping Pussy Lips to Orgasm.” In porn, women either fit the mold, or they are dehumanized and fetishized for the ways in which they deviate from that mold.”

Porn may say there’s a mold, indicating there’s a “perfect vulva,” or more specifically a “perfect labia,” but that’s incorrect and not even possible! There is no such thing. An artist and educator I admire greatly and who’s creative expression I love, highly value, and often share with my clients, students, and patients is Hilde Atalanta. They have something called “The Vulva Gallery” that showcases all sorts of vulvas. They started the gallery in response to the increased number of labiaplasties. Yes Hilde! Viva all labia!    

Let’s stop sidelining the vulva and start using the word in conversations with ourselves, our friends, our lovers, and our medical professionals. The vulva doesn’t belong in the shadows, especially when you consider how unique and special it is. If you are interested in talking more or attending a women’s sexuality class or circle, please reach out.

If you would like to explore yourself and deepen your sensual life through a process of vulva gazing and would like a guided meditation as accompaniment, please find your way here.

For ideas and ways to stay connected to and learn more about the unconscious through the body, feel free to stay connected.

To set up an appointment with me (Marin County Sexologist), click here.

References

Aswell, Sarah. “Your Clitoris Is Like an Iceberg — Bigger Than You Think.” Healthline.com. August 8, 2017. https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/clitoris-like-an-iceberg-for-pleasure#Keep-the-learning-inside-and-out

“Cosmetic Surgery National Data Bank Statistics.” The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. 2017. https://www.surgery.org/sites/default/files/ASAPS-Stats2017.pdf

Enright, Lynn. “Why it matters to call external female genitalia ‘vulva’ not ‘vagina’.” The Guardian. February 12, 2019. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/feb/12/external-female-genitalia-vulva-vagina-sexual-agency

Guest, Julie. “Labiaplasty Is the World’s Fastest Growing Cosmetic Surgery Procedure, International Study Reports.” Global Newswire. July 11, 2017. https://www.globenewswire.com/news-release/2017/07/11/1042324/0/en/Labiaplasty-Is-the-World-s-Fastest-Growing-Cosmetic-Surgery-Procedure-International-Study-Reports.html

Masterson, Jessica. “Women’s Genitals Are Under the Knife, And We Need to Talk About It.” Feminist Current. September 2, 2019. https://www.feministcurrent.com/2019/09/02/35013/

Pearson, Catherine. “Let’s Clear Up The Vagina vs. Vulva Debate Once And For All.” Huffington Post. October 28, 2015. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/lets-clear-up-the-vagina-vs-vulva-debate-once-and-for-all_n_562f99dfe4b06317990f73c8

Sanders, Jayneen. “8 Reasons NOT to Call your Child’s Genitals ‘Pet’ Names.” The Huffington Post. January 10, 2017. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/8-reasons-not-to-call-your-childs-genitals-pet-names_b_58743186e4b0eb9e49bfbec3?guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAANUNn6C7g4TnDJUiUy7QZPKfb9oEW7bUj0C89Ws7qQ7AJlP-a50pMNGoW18L6YQTr09U1a0bKDZesYPSQt6UIeH6Xj-7hrTarUC6scv-xQphD3lrHFn_fgy7-XdaSMRv3GfBvVaolj_LKgouTwcxenjR1YmW66tT1BfzM4bSQTkJ&_guc_consent_skip=1599771422

“What are the Parts of the Female Sexual Anatomy?” Planned Parenthood. Accessed September 9, 2020. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/health-and-wellness/sexual-and-reproductive-anatomy/what-are-parts-female-sexual-anatomy