How to Cultivate a Spiritual Practice

By: Dr. Denise Renye

Many people are disconnected from spirituality and that shows up in their mind, behaviors, and body. Spirituality can be defined simply as a sense of connection to something greater than yourself and can offer meaning as well as purpose in your life.

What happens if there is no spirituality in a person’s life? If they’re completely disconnected from that aspect of themselves? I see spiritual disconnection playing a part in addiction, including “socially sanctioned” addictions like compulsive eating. I also see spiritual disconnection reflected in how some people treat the planet, because after all, if you’re not connected to something greater than yourself (like nature), why would you care about what happens to it? Why would you seek to protect it? (You wouldn’t.)

Furthermore, cultivating a meaningful connection with something bigger than yourself can result in increased emotions that may be more pleasant to experience, according to PositivePsychology.com. Those emotions are ones like peace, awe, and contentment. And emotional and spiritual wellbeing overlap, like most aspects of wellbeing.

For these reasons and more, the training path I have chosen for my career as a psychologist is one that is psychospiritual. I have studied Indian Psychology (Sri Aurobindo and The Mother, the chakra system) and Western yogic techniques that calm the nervous system and can decrease anxiety and depression. I’ve also studied psychedelic therapy and research, which can create space for a mystical or spiritual awakening.

A spiritual practice is complementary to therapy and depth coaching as it can help to provide access to the internal world. Depth psychology focuses on the internal world, so it makes sense to incorporate spirituality. Additionally, self-transcendent emotions like gratitude, compassion, and awe promote prosocial behavior and stabilize prosocial connection, according to research.  

If you’re new to spirituality or even if you are a seasoned practitioner, here are a few points to keep in mind:

·      There is no “right” way to have a spiritual practice

·      A practice is just that – something to continuously engage in without expectation of perfection

·      Spiritual development takes time and commitment

If you’re new to spirituality and asking, “How do I start?” I have some suggestions for you below.

Simply: Just Start

My first suggestion is to just start. Don’t worry about whether your spiritual practice will be “perfect.” In fact, it’s best if it’s not!  Just pick something and try it! If you don’t like it, try something else. The most important thing to remember is your spiritual practice is yours and that means it has to work for you. If sitting in meditation for 60 minutes twice a day is manageable for you, great. If not, fine. (Note: sitting in meditation 60 minutes a day is not manageable for most people, especially at the beginning of the cultivation of a spiritual practice). What makes your heart sing? What leaves you feeling grounded or peaceful? When you land on that activity, that’s how you’ll know you’ve found something suited to you. Follow your bliss. It can be as effortless as that.

If you’re struggling to determine what that activity (or activities) is/are, here are some ideas (not an exhaustive list):

·      Breathwork like alternate nostril breathing or circular breathing

·      Yoga, whether that’s hatha, Iyengar, yin, or restorative

·      Meditation (mindfulness, Buddhist, Tantric, Taoist, guided, etc.)

·      Journaling

·      Prayer

·      Reading a few pages in a spiritual book

·      Communing with the earth

·      Using crystals and setting up altars

·      Observing nature/making a nature offering like a bowl of fresh water for birds

·      Writing a gratitude list

·      Drawing Tarot or other oracle cards

One of my favorite spiritual practices is the labyrinth. A labyrinth is not affiliated with any religion or sect. It’s open to any and all who wish to use it. Labyrinths are sacred containers that can deepen your embodiment practice and support the body-mind connection. They provide a space to contemplate, confront challenges, meditate, pray, and find serenity. Labyrinths can be found all over the world. However, for those who are unable to physically go to a labyrinth, there are also finger labyrinths.

Sitting completely still in meditation is not the only way to cultivate a spiritual practice. In fact, for many –especially those with trauma histories, panic, and anxiety –it is not recommended. When it comes to spirituality, there’s something for everyone. And having loose guidelines, rather than rigid rules, is an important part of the process. Be gentle with you, you are worthy of patience, gentleness, and love.

The next question you may be asking is, “How will I find the time?” Just like with any habit, add the new practice to something you already do. For instance, maybe say affirmations after you brush your teeth. Or read a few pages from a spiritual book just before you eat breakfast. If you already have a set routine, adding to it will be easier than trying to insert it into your life. Also, adjust your spiritual practice to suit your life. Maybe some days you won’t be able to drive to a labyrinth so you use a finger labyrinth instead. Or during the week your yoga practice is 15 minutes but on the weekend it’s an hour. Do what works for you. Gentle discipline is key.

Create the Space

Once you’ve settled on your spiritual practice activities, create a sacred space for yourself. Maybe that’s a formal altar in your bedroom with pictures, flowers, and mementos. Maybe you don’t have space for an altar, in which case you could use a blanket or attractive fabric to sit on while you journal. The point of creating a space, whether that’s a physical altar or the use of a meditation cushion, is to signify, “This time is separate from my mundane life. I’m doing something sacred to connect with myself and connect with something else.”

Carving out a space creates a container for that connection to occur and can also be symbolic, for instance, closing your eyes and imagining you are entering a sacred space. Some sort of ritual/space will help you because it will flip a switch in your brain that says, “Now we’re doing something spiritual.”

Give of Yourself

What happens with spirituality is the self is transcended, as mentioned above. Another way to get out of your head is to give of yourself. Donating to charity, volunteering, and doing something nice for someone are all ways that connect you to something other than yourself. A spiritual practice that doesn’t also have a component of serving others can become self-absorbed and potentially intellectualized. There is a balance of course – give too much of yourself and you burn out, but give too little of yourself and you become absorbed in just you.

One of the benefits of spirituality is prosocial behavior. Prosocial behavior comes about because when you act from a felt sense that you’re connected to something greater than yourself, you feel moved to help those in need. Service becomes something you want to do, even if it’s not formal. Unloading the dishwasher without asking counts!  

If you want more support with a spiritual practice, check out my shoppe and be sure to subscribe to my newsletter. 

Reference

Miller, Kelly. “The Science of Spirituality: 16 Tips to Build Your Spiritual Practice.” PositivePsychology.com. September 30, 2021. https://positivepsychology.com/science-of-spirituality/